10 Ways to Create a strong partnership

Struggling with relationships?  First, there’s nothing wrong with you.  You are not broken.  You just most likely need to work on your relationship skills.  If you can’t do a pull-up, we wouldn’t say you were broken.  You just need to exercise your arms to get stronger.  Same thing with relationships.

In order for you to practice those skills and improve, one of the best things you can do is find a partner.  A partner will work with you on communication, romance, friendship, love and so on.  Two partners form a partnership, who then work together towards a common, shared interest.  In this case, the partnership creates the best relationship that you and your partner can imagine.

Here are 10 essentials to creating a strong partnership between you and your partner.  As you work on each of these within yourself, keep in mind your goal – relationship mastery.  Allow your partner to help you to overcome the struggles.  We, humans were not meant to be alone.  There are some things that are bigger than any of us individually.  We need people in our life in order to achieve them.  So find a partner, get your heart involved and go for it!

1 Be a Great Companion

Before you choose your partner, make sure you can be companions and friends.

In most cases, you are with someone because you enjoy spending time with them.  For some, time together can be a connecting conversation, for others, recreational companionship.  Willard Harley’s book His Needs, Her Needs describes it best.  He says that “intimate conversation and affection are inseparably entwined” (pg 69). He also says that “…spending recreational time with his wife is ranked second only to sex for the typical husband.” (pg 89-90)

When you spend time connecting with your partner, you will grow stronger.  Nothing beats sharing those special moments with that special someone.  Life is a group journey.  A companion goes on the journey with you.  So allow support and be supportive.  A companion will listen to you, have your back, maybe help you plan.  Why do they do this?  Because you are a companion for them as well.

2 Create Friendship & Fun

Fun forms friends.  So grab your partner go and have some fun.  This will strengthen your friendship.  Having a partner as a best friend is divine.

A friend loves you, accepts you, and even challenges you when you are at your worse.  A true friend picks you up and carries you when you fall down.  When you have an unshakable problem, they are that special someone who will hear you out, comfort you, and help hash out a solution.

Friends also have an emotional bond because they share their emotions freely and without judgment.  We crave acceptance even more than drugs and food.  So give your friend the gift of freedom to be themselves.  A true friend will return the favor.

3 Never Criticize (Women) – Never Emasculate (Men)

Never criticize a woman.  Never emasculate a man.  These destroy friendships, partnerships and everything in between.

Yes, we all get angry over something.  Ultimately, a person gets angry and uses criticism and emasculation to control another person.  What’s under the anger us usually fear and deprivation.  If you cannot calmly discuss all disagreements, problems, and unforeseen events, then take time out and figure out your fears and what is missing in your life.  Let your partner help you with this.

4 Releasing Control – Don’t make demands – Instead make agreements

Partners don’t make demands.  Partners create agreements.  There are so many reasons why we attempt to control people and situations around us.  Instead of being controlling, trust your partner to be there for you.  This creates a balance of power, importance, and contribution towards each other.  Together you create teamwork and you each become stronger.

The opposite of control is empowerment.  Empower means to give another person power.  Let your partner make a decision.  Let your partner make a choice.  Listen to your partner’s ideas.  When you do this, they are more likely to listen to your wants and needs.

5 Honest Communication

In so many ways, honest communication is the cornerstone of a great relationship.  You cannot create a Partnership unless you are expressing what is truly going on inside of you.  This can be scary if you are not used to fully expressing your wants, needs, desires, and dreams.  Honest communication strengthens the emotional bond.  Give each other a safe space for your inner worlds to be heard.  You will probably find more common ground than you ever imagined.

6 Romance

Romance is the thrill, excitement and enthusiasm of being in a relationship.  The best experiences of romance occur when it is spontaneous.  When he picks you up at work and takes you to your favorite sunset restaurant.  Or when she slips into bed in her sexiest lingerie.  Yet, when your lives get busy, spontaneity is often the first thing to get cut out.

So when attempting to create an intentional relationship, how does a couple have the ability to create spontaneity? Well, sometimes you have to plan it.   Yes, spur-of-the-moment romance can be planned.  How?  By blocking out chunks of time where each of you plan an impromptu event.

It is important that the person who is not responsible for the evening becomes a flow-with participant.  Just go with the plan.  To borrow from Forrest Gump, it’s like a box of chocolates.  The box is like the plan.  You have to open the box to see what you’re going to get.  The result?  The best kind of romance.

7 Sex & Intimacy (You’ve gotta have it!)

Sometimes it is about sex.  And sometimes it is about intimacy.  But how are you supposed to know which one – and when?  Who else to honestly talk about these things but with your best friend, who is also your life companion, lover, and partner?  When you get connected to each other on a deeper level, conversations about sex and intimacy get easier.  Sex and intimacy are another level of connection.  When sex and intimacy are never an issue, they become rocket fuel for raising your relationship to new heights.  You can have sex, intimacy, or both.  You get to choose.

8 Be Unconditionally Loving

This one can be tough for some couples.  Every day, you can choose to fall in love with your partner again.  When you have love on your mind, you go from looking for ways to be critical of your partner to creating moments where you see the absolute best in them.  Also, be grateful.  Gratitude makes your relationship better because you are finding the good qualities in your mate.

9 Practice Instant Forgiveness

How often do you think that your mate is trying to make you mad?  Or frustrate you?  Or not doing something the way you would like it to be done?  Think instead that most likely, your partner truly has your best interests at heart.  They are generally working for the betterment of the relationship.  So when something goes wrong, practice instant forgiveness.  This allows you to quickly move on.  After all, holding onto little wounds hurts everyone.  Instant forgiveness starts the healing process.  It is like a band-aid for emotional hurts and frees up space to be unconditionally loving.

10 Grow

Growth is all around good.  Make sure that you and your mate are growing together.  One aspect of Partnership is setting and achieving goals.  These are goals that both of you agree to, each contributing your skills, resources, knowledge, and passions.  The goals can be anything from travel, learning, dinner, or bigger things like building a house, family, or a business.  Reading books, attending seminars and doing self-development can be a great way to grow in the same direction.

Setting goals around your relationship will increase the love you create in your life.  Often people set goals in many other areas in their lives; yet they often coast through their relationships.  Following these 10 steps to create a strong partnership will help you be different.  Working daily on these 10 steps with a partner will transform you into a relationship master.

More About Companionship

A companion is a person that complements you.  They are not a person who completes you.  You do not need to be completed.  You are a whole person. Partnership can only occur when you bring your whole self into the relationship, and your partner does the same.  A companion shares your journey through life.  They understand you.   It’s okay if both of you have different perspectives in life.  When two differing perspectives combine, then the total view of life becomes wider.  Having a companion that complements you rather than completes you is a gigantic benefit.  You see more of each other and more of the world.

Releasing Control and Method of Honest Communication are 2 of the Pillars of Partnership.  These along with Balance and Self-Love create an incredibly solid foundation where partnership flourishes.

To get started on turning your relationship into an extraordinary Partnership, get our free download 10 Things to Do Now to Immediately Raise Your Relationship.

In Love,
Chris & Sarah

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